Bloodshed & madness!!

So many strange events happened tonight… it was almost too much to handle, too much to hold my cover… I had a talk with Polonius, then he hid behind a curtain to evesdrop on Hamlet and I, and then when Hamlet came in and expressed his anger and hate with me, he heard Polonius try to get help, thought it was Claudius and stabbed him!!!! Right before my eyes! Oh dear God, forgive this foul waste of bloodshed! An innocent life taken! Partially my fault! Oh my poor Hamlet, he hates me so much now! And his eyes tell me he is in so much despair! Ugggggghhhhhhhhhhh I hate myself so much!!!!! If only he could understand… He thinks that I am nothing more than a horrible betrayal to his father, and a shame to women.

And then the so-called appearance of Hamlet Sr? I think Hamlet may be going mad! I must find a way of telling him somehow that I don’t love Claudius, I love him, so very much, and I’m doing this so that this country will be as stable and promising as it has been since Hamlet Sr and I have been in power! And all in all, for Hamlet’s sake, so that he may take over soon enough, and take over at a good time, when I finally succeed in murdering Claudius!

Hamlet did try and assure me that he wasn’t mad, it was all nearly an act, so maybe when we both succeed in secretly killing Claudius we can still live happily together! I really hope so… My life has been turned upside down since Hamlet Sr died… I still can’t even believe it… It’s like living in another person’s life… I wish I could be reunited with the love of my life…

I can't even imagine what's going to happen next... It seems like anything could happen at this point! When I saw Hamlet pick up Polonius's body and bid me goodnight, all I could think was, "Dear God, how could this have happened to Elsinore!?!"

Laying With The Devil...

My second marriage… Uggghhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t even believe I’m doing this to myself. This is so, so wrong! Dear God please forgive me for this betrayal of my late husband, Hamlet Sr. Once again, I have no choice in this marriage. If I don’t marry him, he will corrupt Denmark and bring shame to us all… I must do this for the good of my country… And for the good of my late husband… Rest in paradise Hamlet, rest in paradise.

I know my beautiful son, the joy of my life, will hate me for this, but I must do this to protect my country! If I don’t… God only knows what will happen… Claudius is much, much different from his brother… much more deadly… it makes me a little scared… But I must only play my cards right and he will believe I’ve fallen for him, believe I’m on his side. Thankfully he does look much like his brother, still quite handsome, which makes this slightly easier; but only slightly…

I hate myself for doing this… laying with the devil, the man who killed the love of my life… The next few months will be hell, but it’s for the good of everyone else! I must just unattach myself completely from my emotions and act with remorse! It will pay off soon enough…

My Baby Boy Is Leaving :(

It’s the night before my blessed son goes away… my dear, dear Hamlet Jr. Hamlet Sr. and I have raised him so well, he was always such a joy to have around, always full of laughter. It feels like just yesterday he was heading off to his first day of school, and now he’s almost grown up!

I remember before I was to marry Hamlet Sr. I had severe doubts in mind… I was positive about the whole situation but I had my doubts, but our marriage has been unexpectedly blissful, and I did end up falling in love, quite deeply, with Hamlet. He’s the most caring, compassionate man I’ve ever known; never rude or unkind, never lays a hand on me. He showers me with affection and expensive, exotic gifts. But most importantly, he’s been a great father and a great role model to our little Hamlet Jr. as we’ve been raising him.

I couldn’t ask for a better life, I now have everything I’ve ever wished for! To fall in love, and to have a beautiful son. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’ve got an amazing husband that I love with all my heart and a wonderful son who’s everything I could ever dream of. My life is complete bliss!

But it does break my heart that my beautiful baby boy is heading off and away to college… I’ll only be able to see him on his holidays! But he has to grow up some time… I guess it’s just his time to spread his wings and fly…

The Night Before My Marriage to Hamlet

My last night being single; I’m only 18! And this isn’t even my choice, it’s my father’s… Hamlet is a fine gentleman, but I wish that I could’ve had the chance to fall in love with someone and then marry them. This is merely a business deal between our two countries, our two families. Soon I will be forced to live with, and act as if I love this man, yet I have only just met him one month ago…

He is quite handsome though, with his tall, muscular build, and his golden blonde hair… And it’s not as if he’s a barbarian; on the contrary he was well-mannered and chivalrous on all the occasions we met. And I guess it’s not as if this was his idea either… We’re both being forced into this union we’re calling marriage.

Inside me, there is slight hope, that maybe one day in the future I could fall in love with Hamlet. Maybe we will live happily ever after and have a wonderful life together! Since I have no choice either way, I might as well be hopeful for our future together and make the best of it. He might just turn out to be an amazing husband, and I’ve always wanted to raise a family! Especially a son, a lovely baby boy… A daughter would be a beautiful miracle as well, but it’s always been my deepest wish to have a son.

The big day is tomorrow, the first day of the rest of my life! I wonder how everything will turn out… Hopefully for the best. Dear God I pray, please let my life with Hamlet be blessed by your goodness and grace, and let us be healthy and happy always in our lifetime, and full of love for each other. Please bless our marriage, and join us as one soul so that we may be joyful together always. Amen.